He Answered My Prayers....




YULLEE!

The Weekend: Revisited

FRIDAY
-The shittiest day to mark all shitty days. Doodle and I embarked on a trip to Target and ShopRite.... with no V'Dubs. For those of you who don't know, it is really hard to carry 12 plastic grocery bags six blocks to the bus stop AND it was hotter than the boiler room in hell! So yeah, I wasn't too happy BUT the thought of Cheesecake Factory nachos made my heart flutter.

-We asked Matty to go but he didn't want to so we drove the Ford over to Cherry Hill and devoured two plates of Factory Nachos. If you've never had them... please go get some, they'll change your life.

SATURDAY
-A friend of mine sent me the link to download this (see above) and I was UBER excited about it... which translates to, "I clicked download quicker than I blink." Anyhow.... I was anticipating greatness and I watched the Mozilla "download" link and then it popped up and said... "download complete" - boy was I happy.

-Uploaded it to iTunes and immediately pressed "play" and guess what.... I was immediately disappointed. Yep, DISAPPOINTED. Don't believe the hype folks... Don't believe the hype. If you need another coaster to go along with your Usher album, then go pick this one up (but I'm sure no one is buying it because it has leaked EVERYWHERE).

MOVING ON.......

SUNDAY
-I was hounded by each of my wonderful roommates [end sarcasm] to make them fried chicken... so because I was home alone all day, I opted to do something nice for them. Now because I have this problem where I can't make food for just us.... I made the ENTIRE pack of wings and legs...... homemade mashed potatoes and broccoli. I think that was enough.

-So now I'm sitting on my fat ass (because my stomach is full of about 8lbs of potatoes and 16lbs of chicken) watching Fight Club with Doodle.... Matty is phoneboning and all is right down here in Fishtown.

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How was your weekend??

Wednesday's Man.....

I'm just so tired of so many things and so many people, I need somewhere to vent - here it goes:

A. Internet thugs make me laugh. As Tanisha says, it's like the Special Olympics... even if you win, you're still a retard! I mean, ole' girl knows where I stay and I have no problem banging her in public, BUT (the big but) I refuse to go back and forth with her via the internet. LAME

B. I want to apologize to a certain someone for my recent spats of childish internet vomit; I spoke out of anger. It's like losing your best friend and then drawing attention to yourself in hopes of that person still wanting to be your best friend, guess he found someone else to play "tag" with. So, I'm stuck on the monkey bars all alone, my playground crush is officially dead, buried, and has gone to heaven.

C. How is it that someone tells you that they wont have their phone all weekend while they're in Atlanta, but then gets mad when they realized that you haven't called them?? Is that logical.

D. I sold two books already but for some reason, Amazon and Half.com only distribute your money ever 14-21 days. Ain't that some bullshit? It's like waiting on a paycheck, dammit!

E. PECO fucked up our bills so now this month, we're paying for two months even tho we paid them last month but they say that was just an "estimate" - what type of shit is this (in my Bernie Mac voice)??

F. I cleaned out my closet and came to a harsh but real conclusion: Hi. My name is Whitney and I'm addicted to Nike's. I found shoes that have never even touched the ground but for some reason, I couldn't part with them.

G. My roommates are like completely in love with my fried chicken, I think something is wrong with them. It's like a crack addiction, really. To me, it's just fried chicken... to them, it's like the Holy Grail. Sheesh. Maybe I'll make you some, oneday.

H. I actually didn't know what letter came after G, I had to sing the song. Payce!

This Ig'nant Ish Here...


Can you find 6 things wrong with this picture?

Don't worry. Feel free to list as many as you like, 6 is just a rough estimate.

Marietta bar owner Mike Norman says the T-shirts he’s peddling, featuring a look-a-like of cartoon chimp Curious George peeling a banana, with “Obama in ‘08″ underneath, are not meant to offend. Norman acknowledged the imagery’s Jim Crow roots but said he sees nothing wrong with depicting a prominent African-American as a monkey, “We’re not living in the (19)40’s,” he said. “Look at him . . . the hairline, the ears — he looks just like Curious George.”
I'm embarrassed for my people.

This Ig'nant Ish Here




I can NOT. I will NOT. I do NOT want to deal with this fuckery today. I had a good day, did great on my final exams, come home to find this ish over at C&D and I'm just dead.

I don't know what to say.

I quit.

This Ig'nant Ish Here...



Now I normally wouldn't bother with watching any MTV reality shows, especially not the wack Real World Hollywood (bummer) but I just happened to have it on while I was doing my hair. Because I didn't have a free hand, I was forced to watch and listen to this fuckery. BUT there was a situation that made me jerk my head near the television and immediately begin yelling obscenities. (see above)

First things first. Yes the chick with the braids (don't know her name) was wrong for thinking that two of the other guests had to leave just to accommodate her guests HOWEVER, the blonde chick DID NOT, and I repeat, DID NOT need to run her ass outside and begin the most ig'nant rant I've ever heard. (go to 4:11 of the clip)

And secondly, who the fu*k (excuse me, it's what I wanna say - thanks Bernie Mac) told her that it was okay for her to say "Let's not get ghetto"?? Who gave her that pass?? MTV knows how to pick'em don't they?? Because in THE REAL WORLD, you know the one that I live in... Philadelphia - this chick would have been all up and down that street with my foot up her ass. Let's not get ghetto?? Really? I'm outraged! And then even after the argument subsides, the blonde chick goes into the house and proceeds to tell her guests that, "we have really ghetto people...." - where is Al Sharpton when you need him?

Ig'nant Quote of The Day::
"I don't care if your from the most inner-city.....(pauses).....black-ville"

I want to meet this girl. Now I'm not going to do serious harm to her, but I just want her to hang out in the ghetto for a while with a t-shirt on that says (the above quote) and see how long she lasts. No! Better yet, I just want her to jump off of something high and plant her head near the ground.[1]


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endnote::
1. not serious

Honestly, Fear The Youth of America (pt. II)

**Disclaimer, THIS POST WILL CONTAIN EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF PROFANITY AND IF YOUR EASILY OFFENDED, JUST DON'T BOTHER**


(sigh)
Someone, some where thinks that this (see above) is acceptable. Acceptable enough to be put on YouTube as if they were proud. Now let me just say this, I do not condone violence but in this instance I would love to meet this chick that has cornered this other 16 year-old girl and has continually hit her repeatedly. I can't say that she whooped her ass because the other girl wasn't fighting back but while the chick is hitting her, the fact that she is not fighting back is making her feel better, this is called BITCHASSNESS everyone.

Apparently the back story is, the girl in the white wifebeater invited the chick in the gray over to their "mutual" friend's house so that she could corner her and well, you saw the clip. This is all going down while someone video tapes it! I just have to do this for the sake of doing it (I know I will get no answer but) WHERE ARE THE GOT-DAMNED PARENTS?!? How is this taking place in your living room and you are no where to be found?

So anyway, the girl in the wifebeater is hitting this chick (doesn't even look like she is landing a lot of powerful blows, just a hole bunch of nothing), someone is filming and there are two girls outside being "lookouts". What type of planned out shit is this? LOOKOUTS, really?!?? What has made this 16 year old girl so angry that she had to corner this other chick and try to do harm to her?!

Let me just say this, shit like this only happens in suburban areas, populated by a majority of white people. And I don't say that to be disrespectful or rude but (I'll be politically correct) African-Americans just aren't raised like that. If I would have went home at 16 and told my mom that a girl cornered me in a house and beat me up, she would have personally drove me back to the house and held the girl down while I beat her ass and if the chick's mom wanted to get in the way, my moms would have handled her ass too! Like, it's just something that we're not raised to go through. Had that have been two black girls in a house; nobody would be taping because that chick would be in the fight too, the house would be all fucked up because we don't fight fair, blood would be splattered, and cops would have been called. That's just how we get down and yeah you may say, 'well that's why "African-Americans" are in jail and whatnot' - ok and that may be true. But you damn sure ain't going to corner an "African-American" and think your gonna walk away from the fight unharmed. In my opinion, if you back a black chick in a corner thats like asking her to whoop that ass without any remorse because she is going to fight to the death to get out of that corner.

But I digress. Children have lost it! They're missing something vital in their upbringing and it's taking a toll on our society. Shit you used to be afraid to walk around at night, now I'm afraid to pass a high school at 2:30 in the afternoon! This has gotten out of control. And then the parents are working so hard to give the kids everything they want and need, that they're never home and then shit like this (see above) goes down in their own home. It's a damn shame that someone could be that disrespectful to someone else's home.

Beware of the children (anyone born after 1992).

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[edit]
There is a Part 2 to this news broadcast that shows something that the first one didn't. All six of the assailants are sitting around and taking turns beating up this innocent 16 year old girl, who by the way IS NOT FIGHTING BACK! This is BITCHASSNESS at it's best.


**dead at, "don't hit the shelf! don't hit the shelf!"**

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[edit]
14 to 18 years old! What in the Samuel L. Jackson is going on? I'm going to lock my door and close the blinds, it's 12:27 and school is almost out!

This Ni88a Here...

(photo source)

I am not kidding. I went to Amazon.com and searched Lil Wayne and this was the first result that popped up. I wouldn't joke about something like this!

Who in the hell does he think he is? Why would you photoshop tattoos on a baby? What in the name of Campbell's Soup? Check the pinky ring tho, you think he really had that on or another great photoshop job?? I'm just so disturbed by this whole thing, it makes me uneasy.

**dead and SERIOUSLY moving to Wisconsin and ending all my hip hop hopes and dreams**

SMH


In the third attack on or near SEPTA in Center City in 10 days, three men wearing black wigs assaulted and robbed a 30-year-old Southwest Philadelphia man riding the Market-Frankford El late Friday.

SEPTA police couldn't catch the suspects in the 11:35 p.m. incident as quickly as they nabbed those in an 8 p.m. attack Wednesday, just two days earlier.

Friday night's victim, whose name is being withheld by police, had to climb two flights of steps to report the assault and robbery of $20 to a cashier at the stop on 15th and Market streets, according to Richard Maloney, SEPTA spokesman.

By the time the cashier reported it to SEPTA police, the Market-Frankford train had traveled to 30th Street and the wig-wearing trio were nowhere to be found, Maloney said. (source)

Yet again another innocent bystander is beaten and robbed near a SEPTA platform. Seriously? What is going on in my adoptive city? Millions of people trust SEPTA to get them home safely everyday but now these attacks are going to cause a major stir in thee city and probably down-right panic. Mayor Nutsack (excuse me, Nutter) needs to get on his JOB and get some whips cracking around town.

I think we need the Rudy Giuliani-method: Just bust'em all up-side the head. Any person you suspect is doing wrong, BUST'EM UP-SIDE THE HEAD. Take a nightstick and slap the fuck outta'em! "Open and shut case, Johnson" (thanks Dave Chapelle)

This Ni88a Here...


This lil' mofo has made my list AGAIN! I have a lot of repeat offenders and I'm so tired of it.

So this time he is talking about some BS that took place years ago and has nothing to do with nothing, I think he just likes to hear himself talk and then read about the ig'nant ass shit that he says!

BUT nonetheless, here is the fuckery::

What was the craziest thing you ever saw at Can Am?
We walked in one day and Faith was sitting on Pac’s lap while Pac was writing a verse. It was like, “What the f*ck is going on?” That was one of the craziest sights, dog. Faith was in Pac’s lap. I was like, “What the f*ck? I know I’m not? Is that? It can’t?” Three weeks later, “Hit ‘Em Up” came out. There’s a couple of people that came up out of that camp. Bow Wow was in Snoop’s camp. Keyshia Cole was always through Death Row in her younger days. I used to see Keyshia all the time in there with Pac. I’m not hating on nobody. I got love for Faith. That was unbelievable, during the time of the East Coast-West Coast beef.

What was your favorite memory of Pac?
I always just hung out with Pac and smoked and chilled. He always used to give young n*gg*s advice to just work hard and never give up on your dreams.

Pac was smoking with you when you were 15?
God damn right. He didn’t know. It was going down in Can Am. You didn’t need an ID in that m*th*rf*ck*r.

What’s a funny story you had with Pac?
He was just a funny dude. He always cracked jokes on whoever had bad breath or nappy hair. I used to spend more time with Snoop and Suge. [Snoop] used to come pick me up and I’d tell my dad I’m going down the street to do my homework. I would just come back later and pass out.

How did you find out Pac was shot?
I seen Pac the day before they left. Suge bought Snoop, Pac, and Dr. Dre Rolls Royces. I think they all caravanned. The last thing Pac said was, “Aright, little homey, we out.” A day later I found out he got shot.

Were you around when Biggie got shot?
I was with Big two days before he died. I smoked two or three blunts with Big. We watched a Lil Kim video. He talked to me about some real sh*t. He was gonna get on the remix for “Everything That You Want” off my album and then two days later he was dead. He invited me to his hotel. Cease picked me up.

So Big was real cool?
Big was hella-cool. He was talking about how big Lil Kim was gonna be. And that was right when that video came out for “Crush On You.” He showed me the first version of that. I walked in [his room at at the Four Seasons] and the n*gg* had some shorts on and a tank top getting his hair cut. He was just a real n*gg*.He did some sh*t on [Brandy’s TV show] Moesha. So [his crew] came up like, “Biggie wanna get you high.” We sat back and smoked. I got his number. The n*gg* hit me the next day to come to the hotel. So me and my homey went up there and chilled. I was about 16. The day he died I seen him with Puff. I tried to say what’s up to Puff, but Puff didn’t see me. Then I seen Big and he was like, “What’s up, my n*gg*.” I hugged Big and the n*gg* smelled like soap. That’s all I remember. He just smelled fresh like, “Damn, he a big n*gg* but he smell like soap.”

The fuckery doesn't end or begin there tho, click HERE for more.

Now, can somebody get this fool a chair so he can sit his ass down. Where is his mama and why doesn't she put an end to this bullshit? Is he trying to up his street-cred all because he hung out with Tupac? What is really hood B? I'm so confused and at a loss for words.

What Exactly Went Wrong In Your Life


True Story (I couldn't make this shit up if I wanted to).

I'm in the car last night with my pseudo and he decides that he wants some late night MickyD's, I don't object because it's close to our destination and I knew he was hungry. It's already about 12:25am as we pull into the drive-thru and this is the exact moment where shit got real!

He pulls behind some lady who appears to be getting out of the driver's seat and getting in the back seat, moments later is appears that she was getting her wallet from under her seat. Once the wallet was retrieved, she began her order. The question then arose from inside of our vehicle, "How come she couldn't order before looking for her wallet?" It puzzled us, but nonetheless she ordered and pulled around to the side.

We the pull to the speaker and Chris makes his order, "A medium Number 5, with no sauce and a High-C Orange." The lady gives him his total and we pull around to the first window. Money is exchanged, change is given and we pull up to the next window. HERE IS WHERE SHIT REALLY GETS REAL.

Only in North Philly will you find a two-toned, finger wave helmet glued to the top of some chicks head and perfectly edged up around her "would-be" hairline. I immediately wonder what has gone so wrong in someone's life that they have to work the midnight shift at McDonalds? But I chalk that up to oppression and gentrification (which we all love so much) and just keep it moving. BUT as she begins to hand Chris his food, I abruptly enlighten him that that is not his food.

Now had we had been actual 'negros', we would have taken the bag full of food and acted as if he didn't just pay $5 for a chicken select sandwich, a quarter pounder with cheese, two large fries, and two Sprites! However, we're uppity negros and we felt it was best to acknowledge that he had the wrong food, give it back to her, and request the actual order that he had paid for. As we tell her that this is not his order, she looks as if we had lied to her! Like we were purposely trying to mess with her; NO CHICK, IT'S JUST NOT HIS DAMN ORDER. But whatever, she gives us the mean-mug and then retires somewhere beyond the glass of the drive-thru window.

Getting a good laugh out of her order screw up at 12:46 in the morning, a guy in a McDonalds button up and a headset approaches the window and asks, "is there a problem here?" Chris says, "No. She just gave me the wrong order. I didn't order a quarter pounder." The alleged manager walks away and doesn't return. This also makes us chuckle because, what was his purpose? What did he think was going on? It's McDonalds at midnight, what did he expect? Ultimately, the chick with the helmet returns to the window with an acceptable size bag and a High-C orange.

BUT WAIT, IT DOESN'T END THERE. After that 20 minute Philly fuckery, we get back to the beautiful crib on 17th & Edgely only to realize that she had STILL given him the wrong order! Needless to say, I believe that there should be some kind of competency test for these drive-thru attendants. When the tickets comes up and it literally reads off to you everything that the customer has ordered, how do you still mess that up? My conclusion: Fear the people who work the midnight shift at McDonalds, they're there for a reason!

Happy Thursday Chumps (stole that one from Doodle)

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