1. Because news was slow today and I worked most of the day, I'm going to compile all my segments into one! Enjoy folks.

2. I saw this on the side of a bus while I was on my way to work, I figured it would be something interesting to talk about... But then I got home, checked my email and I noticed that I had received a nice tuition bill from Temple so I'm back on my "F*ck Temple" tirade (because they steal out of state students money and rape them in the ass, with no lube... not fair)

3. Mr. & Mrs. Nick Cannon are asking their "friends in the industry" for wedding gifts.... This is my response to that message, "Kiss my black ass!" And I would suggest that anyone who is informed to send them a gift, to repeat that to them - with the quickness.

4. A gentleman came into my store today and proceeded to try an "git wit me" (as he calls it) all the while, I am running his credit card application and what pops up on the screen??? DENIED. Reasons, BECAUSE DELINQUENCY TO PAY OTHERS. Wow thanks.

5. I saw these and immediately had to have them. Too bad I wont have them, nor even think about having them. Shit, my PECO bill is due tomorrow, I ain't got time for no damn kicks. But you know where to go for more info - duh!

5. YESS! Doodle bought fans.... real live, wind blowing, keep the heat off me FANS.

6. This was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen. An old man and his wife were walking to the car and he walked over to the passenger side, unlocked the doors, opened it and even kicked the plants out of the way so that his wife could get in the car. He stood there with the door open until she was in the car and comfortable... Then he asked if she was okay before he walked around to the driver's side. It really brought a tear to my eye. When I'm 60, old and retired all I want is for someone to still love me that much (sigh).

7. THROWBACK JOINT
8. I saw these Dunks on my way home. They're super DOPE. Brown and Wheat with a chocolate brown patent leather swoosh, leopard print inside and on the laces. I'd kill for those but there were too many people around and I'm pretty sure that chick with the fat ass calves (on the right) would have killed me with her pinky toe! Oh and by the way, her boots were unable to be zipped all the way up... her calves were that serious!

9. Saw this and thought it was BEYOND funny. I love my people. No seriously, as much as I talk shit about us colored folk... I love us. We are some CHARACTERS.

1. In the word's of Ice Cube, "today was a good day".

2. I'm not even mad at Solange... I mean, she gotta get in where she fit in. With all the Rhianna's and Michelle's taking over the world, chick gotta get her ringtone money up too. Why can't she have a hustle too? I'm sure she don't want to be shining shoes and brushing wigs for the rest of her life.

3. Because today was a good day, I'm not going to use the nouns, verbs, and adjectives I was going to use to describe this album (above). I shall just say this, for $10.69 at Best Buy you can buy a very nice coaster.

4. I need some help dealing with creepy guys. Here's the rundown: this "blind date" guy that my friend hooked me up with, he keeps messaging me at all the wrong times (which is anytime in my book). Now, I've never met this guy before but he feels the need to want to talk to me at every waking moment. I know I'm not that interesting nor is my conversation that important or intriguing... However, how do I get rid of him!?! Help me. I just want my old life back when I didn't have to deal with creepy old men who wanted to take me to Dave & Busters. (sigh)

5. This is one of those pictures that comes with the Sunday paper and the title reads "What Is Wrong With This Picture: Find 6 Things".

6.
I love me some Chris Crocker but dude has lost it completely about these damn t-shirts. I may still have to cop me one or two to show my support, but I'm down for the cause. Me and Solange gonna start a revolution... and it WILL be televised.

7.

1. If Michelle is over at the Indiana Jones/106 & Park premiere, than who is turning Beyonce's ever-so needed wig-blowing fan on? We all know she can't live without that damn fan but then again she has Jay Z... I'm sure he has plenty of experience in brushing her wigs and turning her fan to the right setting. He probably does it better then Kelly and Michelle.

On another note: Have you seen this Kodak EasyPic, Final Cut Pro mess of a video that has this wig brusher's name all over it?? My roommate can make a better video than that with my Nikon Coolpix, an IMB Thinkpad, and Adobe Photoshop! Pluzzeee. Guess she figured it was time to cash in on that ringtone money while she still had it in her.... Depressing.

2. Who's child got loose in the makeup room and wanted to give Aunti 'Shanti a "make over"? Someone needs to remove every single Crayola crayon that Ashanti keeps in her purse and burn them! How dare she leave the house like this, all irrelevant and whatnot.

3. What is this, Diddly's Delinquent School for Girls ?? And I'll be damned if that aint Tiffany Evans all photo-oping (made that up) with these bum-ass chicks from Danity Kane... All but D. Woods, ya'll know that's my gurl. Who the hell left the gate open and the chain unlocked because clearly someone let Aubrey come out and play. Teyana is my chick, hands down, but I'm going to need her to let go of the white girl!

4. Dont' be shocked and amazed by that photo, it's just your loyal 'round tha way chick - Tasia! Yep; she'll babysit yo kids, fight yo lil sister, run to the cor'no (corner) sto', drink a forty, briad yo hair, and fry you some chicken... without thinking twice. Jesus be some paint thinner!

Oh and prey-tell me why she has been talking to Ashanti's stylist?? That shit should be illegal.

5. I want to know who thinks that she (see above) is sexy? No, wait. Wait.

6. Damn, is Amerie still relevant in the music world? Looks like girl done fell the hell off. Is she eating good?? She looks tired as hell, like she about to fall over. QUICK, somebody take her a two-piece and a biscuit, STAT! Oh and pick her up some "talent" while your out too.

7. Now anybody who knows me knows that I can't stand Meagan Good, like at all. She plays the same 'round the way chick in every movie. Hell, I don't know if she is a good actress cuz she always chooses the same damn roles (kinda like G. Union... shhh don't tell her that, she bitches all the time). Anyway back on point.

Even though I don't like this chick, her style choice are usually pretty aiight but this fuckery (see above) has just topped my shit list. I think it's the pumps that do it for me... if she would've just committed to hoochie look and threw some dookie braids and some Reeboks with the strap in the mix, I think I would have been cool with it. Oh, lest me not get started on that 1996 ankle bracelet and her 24in yaki.

8. Oh yeah. Are you ready?

1. At 11am, I'll be done with Temple University for a good three months (which is def not enough time to regroup from that bullshit). Hopefully, with the end of a semester comes the end of stress and maybe the beginning of some summer lovin (oh yeah, I said that in my McLovin-voice)

2. My bestie and I watched this wonderful piece of cinematography (above), American History X. WOW! Never knew it was that deep oh and Ed Norton scares the shit out of me. I knew there was something weird about him in the Illusionist but da-da-damn! He made dude bite the curb - I'm with that shit (well not the racist part, just the thuggish part...... **thinks about it*** that was beyond niggerish and I apologize).

3. Reality TV has seemingly become my life. Could that be a danger to my health?

6. At no point in life should it be May, 36 degrees and raining! There should have been no reason for me to have this North Face on. Oh and, check my layers: the blue long-sleeved Best Buy shit, there is a black Adidas track jacket, and then my coat zipped up to my neck (any further and it starts to look like I have a face protector on).

7. Speaking of North Face: See I'm from DC and everybody and they mamma's be out at Tyson's Corner (at the North Face store) buying coats and shit. My thing is, these coats are built for people who do outdoor sports - if I'm walking to class is that considered an outdoor sport? I mean really?? And these things aint cheap! So we're buy $300 and $400 coats to just go to school in, is that right? Ain't no body mountain climbing, skiing, hiking, nothing.... we just chillin. That's a damn shame, but that ish keeps me dry and warm on any given day. Beat that First Down!

8. My sperm donor's birthday just passed, I feel like maybe I was obligated to call him or something.... but I opted against it and continue to kick rocks down the street because that seemed more interesting.

9. I'm spending this summer in Philly - [begin sarcasm] oh how exciting![end sarcasm]

10. Speaking of summer in Philly: I would really like for the person that I'm almost always talking about but never really talking to, to be friends with me again.
11. I've become so good at Photoshop that I'm beginning to scare myself! Oh, hey do you guys like the new banner? I felt like it needed a change, something simple and straight to the point.

12. Isn't high school prom time? Let me reach deep into my vault of pictures and see if I can pull out a Prom 2006 pic of me.... whoops there it is:
So um. No my dress wasn't custom made, it was customly(made that up too) bought at Nordstroms - Tyson's Corner (where the stores are! yeah I sung it). My prom story was;

I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks before prom, didn't have a date so I snatched up a junior and took him. I refused to allow them to put any make-up on my face, I did my own hair and I rocked it out. We showed up two hours late. I partied for a min. Prom is over. We skip out and head to my friend's cousin's house, drank a lil (not too much). Jumped back into the rented Chrysler 300 and headed to Ocean City, MD. Chilled in OC for a week. Came back and it was time for graduation. Long story short, easy!

13. I start posting in the wee-hours of the morning so that I don't have to worry about posting during the day, is that lazy?

14. Alright. I'm out.

15. WAIT! I quit smoking, pretty rad huh?

15. AND... is it just me, or does Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush make your stomach curl?? Every time I see them, I just want to vomit. Just wanted to share that with you. Peace and hair grease.

1. I've taken up smoking (black n milds mostly) but for some reason after I smoke, it's like my taste buds are on vacation and nothing tastes as good as it should. Like I got a Yoohoo last night and after smoking a black, it just wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Super disappointed.

2. I never understood why the people at my job, who only work for one day a week, would call out from work! I mean, you have a collective 6 hours so why can't you show up?! And then, I'm forced to actually do some work and in the process, almost quitting my job.

3. Is it okay for me to tell a customer that I almost choked him? I still have my job, so I'm pretty sure that it's slightly alright.

4. My roommate is the worse paper-writer I've ever encountered! I guess I can't blame it on her, her school never taught her how to properly write a paper. I think that should be a major concern when sending our youth to public schools. How is it that your 20 years old and you can't get through English 50?! But I love her nonetheless.

5. Finals suck balls!

6. My brother and I conference called my mother on Mother's Day. We both forgot to send her something, so we figured we'd come up with a lie together and that way she'll have to believe it. I don't think things worked out like that. She was a little pissed off, oh well. I thanked her for sliding me out of her uterus and she got over it. Simple as that!

7. What if; you get in a car accident and total your car; then as you're riding to school on your bike, you get a flat and its pouring raining; you're forced to buy clothes from the bookstore because your soaked; and then your roommate finds you a ride home so that you're not yet again walking - could you conclude that your life sucks? Or that maybe God just hates you? One or the other, but my rommie has some serious bad luck.

8. Oh and I went through a whole bunch of people that I don't talk to on Facebook and quietly deleted them, you think they'll notice?

9. I silently love the movie Friday Night Lights. Mostly because of Ivory Christian (google him).

10. I threw a shindig for my roomie's bday - excellent! I drank like a sailor and cursed like one too.

11. Is it a bad thing that I call my mother at 3am while I'm drunk and talk about my sex life?

12. Who's going to see the Sex and the City movie??? Me! Me! Me!

13. Oh shit. I found out that this guy that I'm like TOTALLY in love with is allegedly sleeping with another friend's ex, its crazy but I think I'm jealous. I've never had this feeling before so I don't quite know what to call it. Dammit, this being a woman thing really sucks balls. But I think I mask the pain pretty well. Out of sight, out of mind.

14. I miss my brother.

15. I love to cook. Like really love to cook. And my ish is good. I need to be someone's wife so that they can reap the benefits of my 'in the kitchen' experience. Cooking relieves my stress and it makes me feel really good once I'm done eating. Stop by one day, maybe I'll cook something for you.

16. School is almost over and I'm almost free from the slave chains. Guess it's time to prepare for the lamest summer ever! Philly. No man. Working. No fun. No sex. What a drag.

17. I'm thinking about writing a novel loosely based on my life and actual events, how bout that??

18. Oh and I need a new tattoo artist so that I can get right for the summer. If you know a good one in the Philly-area, shout me a holler dogg!

19. I think my 'Random Thoughts' have gone too far. Peace and much love to ya!

20. Wait! How come I can't play Guitar Hero? Like, I have no hand/eye coordination at all.

So I found myself randomly babbling craziness at work today, something I do often when I'm bored but today was a different kind of bored. I was stir crazy.

First things first. Some gentleman by the name of Mack came to my register and offered me a position as one of his "ladies". He first asked me if I was happy with my job, even after I said "yes" to his question twice - he slid me his business card which read:
On the sneak-tip, I slid it into the trashcan under my register, smiled and told him to have a wonderful day. I began to feel dirty that I was even in his presence and for the fact that he offered me a job as one of his "entertainers". YUCK. I didn't like the thought of pimps wanting to pick my up at Best Buy, he has no standards!

Second. I found wide-screen copies of Ocean's Eleven and Twelve! SCORE. For $6.30, I bought them both and daydreamed about the Ocean's Marathon I was going to have when I got home.

Third. I had a pretty endearing conversation with Mr. Francis. He took humor in me being left out in the rain for a good 30 minutes, while he picked up some McDonalds and watched my hair turn from: cute and curly - to - the shit that lines a monkey's ass! I thanked him so much for finding humor in my misfortune and silently I wished a rhino would nut on the back of his neck!(light bulb goes off) **remember when I would wish obscene things upon you and your only reply would be to call me Satan? Sheesh, those were the days.**

Lastly. My patients for people is wearing very thin these days. Iuno, I'm snapping on everyone and I'm just being so friggin tired of people telling me what they think I want to hear. I need people to be real with me. I've spent a lot of time to myself trying to figure my life out but today just took the cake. For the second time, my roommate and so-called "best friend" (even tho right now I'm not really in the mood to entertain her, my fault I know) forgets to pick me up from work and I'm left standing in the rain. The first time this happened (de-ja vu) Chris Francis comes to pick me up. But this time I'm opted not to call him because I know he's been studying hard (something he hasn't done all semester) so I call Matty and he comes to my rescue. This depending on people is for the birds. Next trip to The District, I'm bringing my 'sweetness' back (thats my car, duh!)

Oh wait. Did I fail to mention that I've invited a certain someone to my house twice now and I've been rejected twice. So since I don't take rejection too well, I'm going to stop asking. It'll be what it'll be. You'll come when your ready and I'll have the orange chicken waiting and the door unlocked.

Peace Fam.

I walked home.

Google said 2.2miles - that's nuffin. I used to run the 4x4 in high school. Needless to say, I'm beat. Later!

We got lost in Valley Forge, PA today and came across one of the first EVER gas stations!

We thought this ish was so funny, our adventures are so much fun and I wouldn't trade them for the world. We skipped Spring Fling for Phionxville, PA - beat that.

I love getting lost with my friends because its never a dull moment. Oh and if your ever going to King of Prussia and you miss the exit, your pretty fucked for the next like 20 miles! Enjoy.

Oh and Valley Forge park just has deer running around wild, that ish is crazy and beautiful all at the same time. It's funny the things that you can encounter when your lost and I'm glad that I was lost, it was such a beautiful relief to get away from the city! sigh.

-----
on a personal note:

I feel like I have to do this. I have to get it out in the open, get it off my chest - breathe in and let it go. I hurt someone who was really close to me and yes, I feel bad but time will only tell how that wound will heal. I've done so much apologizing that it's starting to become redundant, so this is my closure to myself. That chapter is done, so I begin a new one and never make that mistake again. For reference, I loved him and I fucked up - he was great and will always be in my heart.

Lately I've been spending a significant amount of time with a certain pseudo AND honestly, I've never laughed more in my life. There is never a serious moment, EVER... not ever (thanks Ricky Bobby).

Ah well, let me begin:
First things. We were watching this movie today (see above) and I had already informed the masses that this was the dumbest flick that I've ever seen, however it was imperative that we continue watching. As the shenanigans of this film continue I plague myself, and those occupying the space that I was in, with the question; Why must white people go and investigate bullshit? And then the topic of having an all negro horror flick came into play: Would that be possible? Could negros really give the audience what they need from a horror flick? You know:
1. Investigating weird noises
2. Walking into dark areas
3. Running into small spaces with no way out
4. Using minimal amounts of profanity so that the movie will clear the MPAA ratings
5. Actually sticking together and saving EVERYONE ('cause negros are defiantly more of an, every-man-for-himself kind of team.. and it's well understood by all parties involved)
Are we ready for such flick? Is America ready to see how negros handle these kinds of situations?


Secondly, as we were turning from Cecil B. to 14th Street (that's Broad St. for those who don't know) I just had this urge to want to hit all the pedestrians standing in front of the car and just as I thought that comment was wrong as hell, Chris turns and says, "I know. Who has the right of way now bitch!?" I died laughing. For some reason Philadelphia pedestrians are bold and fearless when it comes to crossing the street, myself included. There have been a few days when I'm late to class and I just cut straight across the middle of the street and step in front of cars, but it's more angering when I'm the one driving! My thing is, why can't people follow the signs? If it says clearly DON'T WALK, why are you carrying your ass across the street? And why is it imperative that you talk on the phone, step in front of my bumper when I have a green light, and then look at me sideways when I honk the horn at you?!? Damn you!

I just had a few things I wanted to discuss and maybe get some clarification on.


1. Alright so, I keep my phone in my back pocket while I'm at work and this guy comes up to me and accurately describes my phone and it's color. Something to this nature;
Can I honestly believe that he was examining my ass? Because how else would he know what kind of phone I had if his eyes were not in that general vicinity?


2. Now my friend has these 'Random Thoughts' that she sends out to everyone and one that particularly just made me laugh my ass off, went a lil something like this:

When I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6,9, or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the girl at the counter. "You don't?" I said. "We only have 6, 9, or 12,"was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order 6?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered 6 McNuggets! LOL!

This is the youth of Philly. God Bless America.


3. While consuming dangerous amounts of Fried Chicken and Weed, my roommate Tanisha and my ex Mac got into a really un-heated debate about the fate of the world. But for some reason after coming down from that smog that I was in, Mac's argument is starting to make more and more sense (sorry Doodle). It went a lil something like this;

[DOODLE] "The world is going to hell. We just keep going to other countries and fucking people up. There is no excuse for killing a mother and her kid."
[ME!!] "Well you have to make an example out of someone. If America goes and fucks Iraq up, they're sending a message to any other country who wants to fuck with us!"
[MAC] "Right! Pick a country. I'm America, who are you?"
[DOODLE] "England!"
[MAC] "Alright so I whip out a 44 Magnum and you whip out a shotgun. And then I whip out a machine gun and your like 'I aint seen that shit before'"

I don't know how all that makes sense but in some parallel world, I'm pretty sure it's the answer to America's problems. Thanks for the insight.


4. So at work we have this new system and now every time you use a credit card the screen asks you to hand it to the cashier. Well I did a study. Here were the results: Every person that used a credit card just looked at the screen as if they were confused about what the words were saying. One lady actually said, "The screen says I'm supposed to hand you my card?" and I was like "Right!" - Sheesh, do people just turn their reading skills off on the weekend? Like really.

---------------

enough is enough! Happy Sunday.

Alright ladies and gentlemen, bear with me.... I'm getting ready to head off onto the BIGGEST tangent you've probably ever seen from me!


I get a call from one my closest friends today and she tells me that another one of my close friends is pregnant. Wait, let me give you some background information. In high school I pretty much hung out with a selective groups of girls, mainly because we had known each other for years and we trusted no one else. Well, out of the 7 girls that I hung out with 1 is now pregnant and 5 have already had children. Myself and one other friend are the only non-mothers! Now to some that may not seem like a big deal but to me........ well, I'll leave that one opinion out.

Yes, I think that children are a blessing and that we should all be happy to give life to another but none of my friends are any older than me, and in some cases they are younger! I'm 20 which means these mothers are 18, 19, and turning 21 this year. I just feel like these young women are starting a life without defining their own. Young women are not even thinking about their decisions when having unprotected sex or not using some form of contraceptive.

Yes, I think that starting a family is an important part in people's lives however when your 19 and having a baby, what's next?

These are the stats that represent my friends::

+ 34% of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year.

+ 8 in 10 of these teen pregnancies are unintended and 79% are to unmarried teens.

+ The rates of both Hispanics and blacks, however, remain higher than for other groups.

+ Teen mothers are less likely to complete high school (only one-third receive a high school diploma) and only 1.5% have a college degree by age 30.

+ Teen mothers are more likely to end up on welfare (nearly 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare). (source)

Am I happy about these stats? No, because I know that my friends are smarter than that. Their above that. Or are they?