Ok there is a method to my madness. So my BEST FRIEND posted something about me on her blog and I wanted to share it with you. Here is her post::

I’m pretty sure I have one of THE best friends anyone could ever ask for. I think she gets me more than anyone else - even me. It’s cool to have someone who loves and cares about you even though they’re not obligated, like family. She helps me out a whole lot, even though I don’t always see it. I complain about her or stuff she makes me do sometimes, but she’s helped me grow into a better person. We’ve been through so much in such a short time and we’ve had some pretty good times. I wish I could tell her all of this and let her know what an amazing person I think she is, but she’d probably just give me a weird look and walk away. She’s going through some pretty heavy shit right now, and I wish more than anything that I could make it just a little better. However, love isn’t one of my strongest subjects so… I’m hoping everything works out for her cause I like to see her happy.

AND…

If you happen to see this Whitney, I love you son! Everything’s gonna be all right.

and no homo, by the way.

And because she is such a great person, I have to dedicate this one to her!

WAYCROSS, Ga. - A group of third-graders plotted to attack their teacher, bringing a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape and other items for the job and assigning children tasks including covering the windows and cleaning up afterward, police said Tuesday.
The children, ages 8 and 9, were apparently mad at the teacher because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair, Tanner said.
Police seized a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight from the students, who apparently intended to use them against the teacher, Tanner said. (read more here)

If you don't find this article disturbing there may just be something wrong with your brain and you could easily be a sociopath!

Kids are brutal these days. What could have possibly went so wrong in their 9 year old lives that they felt the need to want to do harm to their teacher? And even plan it out? Who was the ringleader? Like, who organized this during recess and handed out assignments and tasks??

But wait, I have an even better story for you - this happened last week:

A 36-year-old man died yesterday afternoon within an hour of being beaten by four youths on a SEPTA platform a short distance from City Hall and the Center City Starbucks store where he worked. The attack happened in view of passersby and a transit policeman who was unable to help.
Police said last night they had charged one of the teenagers, a 16-year-old student at Simon Gratz High School, with murder and conspiracy in the beating death of Sean Patrick Conroy, who lived in South Philadelphia and managed the Starbucks at the Philadelphia Marriott Downtown, 12th and Market Streets. (readmorehere)

As I was listening to this news report, the Philadelphia officers were saying that between 2:30 and about 5:00pm are the worst times on SEPTA because that's when the kids get out of school! Since when have adolescent children struck fear in America? What the hell is going on?

I can't. I wont. This shit has gone too far.

Have you ever felt like there is a song for everything that you go through? Like the song was written just for you and your situation? Well thats how I am feeling today when my iPod randomly started playing Gravity by John Mayer. For some reason this song just seems to match my feelings and emotions today. Let me explain:

I've known my recent ex for about 15 years (yeah, really) and we started dating a little over a year ago. Well of course in the beginning everything was young, fresh and new - but like everything, with time that wore off. After a few months of happiness, the rose-colored glasses came off and we were falling slowly - I guess due to Gravity. So for about 7 or 8 months him and I were just on-and-off constantly. Finally we were just off but like I said, I've known him for 15 years, so we will always be friends however our friendship was slowly falling back into a relationship - there goes that damned Gravity again.

Long story short, on my birthday (yes which was a few days ago) he decided to spill his guts about the other women and a long slew of issues we had been having. Needless to say, I was appalled. After thinking about his words and his actions I figured that there were some things that I needed to know before I continued anything with him, friendship or otherwise. This was the conversation::

ME:: Do you love me? Honestly.
HIM:: Yes.
ME:: Why?
HIM:: Because your always there for me... I know you truly care for me deep down inside.
ME:: So why do you treat me the way you do?
HIM:: I don't know. I guess I kind of take you for granted. Your always going to be there.
ME:: What makes you think I'm always going to be there? Why do you think I'm still here?
HIM:: Because you love me.
ME:: Ok. So if you can admit the shit that you put me through and you can admit that you take me for granted and you understand how much I love you - why can't you change? Why cant you try to do better by me? Why are you acting as if there is nothing wrong with your actions?

After those questions there was silence and at that moment I knew that I couldn't change this man. Its funny how when a woman is dedicated to someone, they will almost try anything to change that person in their favor. I think that I've learned my lesson. A man will change when he sees that there is a need for change, until then he is happy with who he is. But my thing is, if you know that you have or had something good why wouldn't you want to hold on to it? Is Gravity so powerful that you can't even manage to keep your hands on it?

I'm learning to let go something that I haven't been to good at in the past. I had to realize that as much as I wanted to be with him, I didn't want to be in an unhappy situation. I completely ended everything with him. In time I'm sure our friendship will rekindle but I can't continue thinking that we're going to be something that he has no intention on fulfilling. Gravity took it's toll by pulling us apart, maybe one day it'll bring us back together and if not... so be it.

"Happiness is a state of mind"

I'm happy.

Alright ladies and gentlemen, bear with me.... I'm getting ready to head off onto the BIGGEST tangent you've probably ever seen from me!


I get a call from one my closest friends today and she tells me that another one of my close friends is pregnant. Wait, let me give you some background information. In high school I pretty much hung out with a selective groups of girls, mainly because we had known each other for years and we trusted no one else. Well, out of the 7 girls that I hung out with 1 is now pregnant and 5 have already had children. Myself and one other friend are the only non-mothers! Now to some that may not seem like a big deal but to me........ well, I'll leave that one opinion out.

Yes, I think that children are a blessing and that we should all be happy to give life to another but none of my friends are any older than me, and in some cases they are younger! I'm 20 which means these mothers are 18, 19, and turning 21 this year. I just feel like these young women are starting a life without defining their own. Young women are not even thinking about their decisions when having unprotected sex or not using some form of contraceptive.

Yes, I think that starting a family is an important part in people's lives however when your 19 and having a baby, what's next?

These are the stats that represent my friends::

+ 34% of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year.

+ 8 in 10 of these teen pregnancies are unintended and 79% are to unmarried teens.

+ The rates of both Hispanics and blacks, however, remain higher than for other groups.

+ Teen mothers are less likely to complete high school (only one-third receive a high school diploma) and only 1.5% have a college degree by age 30.

+ Teen mothers are more likely to end up on welfare (nearly 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare). (source)

Am I happy about these stats? No, because I know that my friends are smarter than that. Their above that. Or are they?

Last night while I was, yet again, watching another episode of Making the Band 4 (yea, I'm tired of posting re-caps... watch it yourself) Aundrea began sining a song and I happened to be downstairs at the time so I kinda missed the first part. But when I got back, I asked pseudo what happened and he said, "she sung that Alicia Keys song." As I started to hear the words, I had to correct his mistake.

[ME] That's not Alicia Keys' song. You know who wrote that?
[pseudo] Naw. Who?
[ME] Brian McKnight. (pauses) Haven't you ever seen the episode of Martin when he proposes to Gina and Brian McKnight sings this song?
[pseudo] Naw. But I'mma YouTube that shit. (pauses) Can you go get my computer since your standing?

Anyway. I get the computer and we go through disgusting amounts of searching just to find these damn videos. And even after I explained everything that happens in this episode, it was still imperative that we watch::

My roommate introduced me to a pretty good movie that I would have never thought of watching, or buying; The Science of Sleep. It's a pretty cool and weird semi-love story, which is pretty much how my life is. Well long story short, this guy falls in love with this chick who doesn't feel the same way about him and his dreams get intermixed with reality and it makes for a really great movie!

But to the point.... so Mac asked me, the other day, how come I don't write about him?! Well I thought long and hard about it and then I just said, "well, I'll write something about you today" but while I'm sitting here trying to conceive the words.......... I get nothing. I guess it's easy for me to pick up my LX and just type him a tmail and press "send", but things are different when my feelings are out in the open for all to see.

This one is for Mac::

Parallel Synchronized Randomness - a rare phenomenon where two people who have the same thought pattern will find each other

I still can't wrap my mind around the complete circle that we've went through, it just amazes me. I met him when I was 5 years old at that (above) elementary school. He was the baddest little boy I had ever met, I don't think he EVER had recess! As time went by, he moved and went one way.... I moved and went another.

14 years later, through a mutual friend, we were right back at it like old times sake. He is still hard-headed as ever and can't nobody tell him nothing but his momma! And boy does he love his moms (I love her too, yay Caeci!)

Him and I have literally dragged each other through hell and back again, but that's okay with us because one day that walk through hell isn't going to seem so bad. Don't get me wrong, we have seen some pretty good days too....


We've had ups and downs, like anyone else but the difference is - I wouldn't trade our ups and downs for anything in the world. I love him just the way he is. And even though we're always on-again/off-again, were always there for each other!

One day him and I will wake up to this...

DISCLAIMER:: This is gonna be a long post. So strap in and be ready for some history for yo' ass! (sorry, I had to)

First let me begin by acknowledging that I am very cynical about Black History Month so if you are a die hard Black History activist, just close this window and continue your revolution! March on brotha/sistha; March on!

Now this black history month actually began as a week, Negro History Week, thanks to Carter G. Woodson (maybe you went to his high school or something, now you know what he did... back to the lecture at hand). Also thanks to the brilliant minds behind the Omega Psi Phi fraternity and the Delta Sigma Theta sorority they wanted a week to acknowledge the great achievements of blacks; Negro Achievement Week which at the time was only celebrated by blacks. However, after Woodson's death and the rise of the 'Black Power' movement of the 60s, black began to complain that one week wouldn't suffice!
In my opinion, at that time and the state of our nation it was a blessing that blacks got a week. But of course, 'you give them a foot and they'll want a mile' is kind of how we think. And to be quite frank, blacks got a month in hopes that that would silence them for a while and make them happy. Sheesh.

But let me backtrack for a moment. Before this black history month was actually a month, a guy named Lyndon B. Johnson (yeah, he was a president) passed the Civil Rights Act of 1957 which outlawed most forms of racial segregation. Now even in fear of losing the southern vote because of his Act, he also passed the Voting Rights Act which allowed many southern blacks to vote for the first time. Johnson also appointed Thurgood Marshall as the first African-American Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. Even though John F. Kennedy proposed the Civil Rights Act of 1957 because of his assassination, he was unable to complete this task therefore leaving Johnson to pick up the pieces. Although Johnson tried his best during his term, things just didn't go as planned and eventually he lost a lot of support from his white followers and nearly a nation.

Now let me be real clear here, I have yet to mention MLK Jr. or Rosa Parks or Malcolm X... you know why? Because I feel like people have played that tune too many times. Please understand that this is all MY OPINION and do not take it as disrespect. Martin Luther King Jr. was a minister who had no intentions on leading this movement, he was appointed by the members of his congregation and he just so happened to step to the plate. Now when people go giving him all these titles like "Father of the American Civil Rights Movement" I begin to think that we're brainwashing future generations with the wrong material. Yes, he was a great speaker. Yes, he was educated. Yes, he had a great following. But the truth is if he knew someone who knew someone in the NAACP and they opened the door for him to sit down with the President Lyndon B. Johnson. The people that he knew that knew people were the same people that Rosa Parks called when she was thrown in jail for SITTING DOWN! And Malcolm X..... he was an angry black man with a following.

So America has put on these people on a pedestal and at the same time overlooked those people who were behind the curtain actually making things happen. It's just like movies. Follow me, people go to see movies and remember movies because of whatever big named celebrity is staring in it or what not (ie. Martin Luther King Jr.) but when the credits roll people leave and could care less who actually made this film (ie. Lyndon B. Johnson and John F. Kennedy, who happen to be white). Therefore my take on Black History Month is that it should not be something examined only in February, as Kanye would say "I make black history everyday, I don't need a month!" So all of these great commercials that sprung up throughout February and all this great promotion, it'll be all over March 1st - which to me, is ignorant.